Letters to Heaven

I have so many questions in my mind about whether it is ok to talk to Seth or if it is best to talk to God and ask Him to give a message to my Seth.  I read another blog the other day where the mom wrote a post about...If I could write a letter to heaven.  So I have decided to adopt this idea.  So you may see from time to time me post Letters to Heaven.  This will be especially important to me on special days like the 18th of the month, holidays, Seth's birthday, and really sometimes just an ordinary day.  It is my prayer that God will read them too.  And maybe, just maybe He might share with Seth my letters to heaven.

Dear Seth,

If I could write a letter to heaven I would tell you that I can't believe today you would have been a month old.  I can imagine that by now we would be in perfect step in our mommy/baby dance.  I would be so familiar with your cry. You would know my voice.  I would be able to comfort you just by pulling you close to me.  I would be covering you with kisses from the top of your head to the bottom of your tiny feet.  I bet your belly button would have fallen off and I would be giving you your first bath in the bathtub. You might still have had your nights and days mixed up...but I would have been right there beside you taking care of all of your needs.  Looking into your blue eyes would be making me melt.  I would be looking for that glimpse of a first smile. I would be so in love with you.  I would be holding you in my arms today in awe of how fast the time had gone.  I would feel sleep deprived and full of joy.

Instead time has been this strange combination of completely standing still and yet strangely moving forward.  I miss you today my baby boy.  And if I could write a letter to heaven I would tell you I love you so much.  I so wish you could have stayed with me. I would tell you over and over that I never wanted to let you go.

Enjoy heaven today my sweet baby boy.  I am thinking of you today and always.

Love,
Mommy