Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Remembering at Christmas

As I watched them open their presents I witnessed the joy on the face with each gift.  It spoke volumes to my hurting heart.  I felt happiness and grief dance within me once again.  I felt so blessed to enjoy five of my children on such a peaceful Christmas morn.  The tears however, fell and reminded me of the one missing around my tree.  I remember him.  I remember the baby who danced within my womb last Christmas.  I remember the baby who I wish was gumming a red bow off the gift of one of his brothers.  It seems possible in mind.  I return to those with me.  I am blessed. I am sad.  Christmas will always be filled with a sad wonder and a glorious joy.   

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Angel of Hope

Angel of Hope
Candlelight Memorial
December 6, 2012
We attended the Angel of Hope candelight memorial as a family in memory of Seth.  It was such an unique way to remember him and include him in our family just before Christmas.  The candlelight memorial gives families a place to meet with lit candles and remember their children during a brief memorial service that included poem readings and live music.  Families who have the experienced loss of a child of any age meet at Ben Rau Memorial Garden at Blanchette Park in St. Charles.  I didn't even know it existed or knew of the story behind the Angel of Hope before I lost Seth.  There is a beautiful pathway lined with bricks lovingly engraved with the names of children being honored by their families.  The path leads up to the "Angel of Hope," an angel that was created based on the story The Christmas Box.  These angel statues have been created and placed all over the world.  It gives famlies a place to release tears and express grief.  The ceremony ends with flowers being placed around the base of the angel in memory of each child. 
The night was special and emotional for me.  I would like to think we will include this event in our traditions as a family.  It will be our special night in December before Christmas to remember our little "Snowdrop".

Little Snowdrop
Author Unknown
The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says of our love for you.