Wearing These Shoes

http://www.shoes.com/ProductImages/shoes_iaec1307140.jpg

I went shoe shopping this week. I needed a new pair of summer shoes that would look cute with capris.  I left the house in capris so I borrowed a pair of flip flops from Natalie. (And just for those of us who are old enough...flips flops aka thongs!!!)  They were really pretty.  They were brown and adorned with beads.  But they hurt my feet like crazy.

Now I find myself at Wal-Mart shoe section.  Yeah I go all out when I go shoe shopping only the finest shoe stores will do for me.  <Enter your smile here>.   I start trying on shoes and place one in the cart.  And another.  Yet another.

Retail therapy is getting expensive I may need to find another type of therapy. 

I really wanted to take off  the shoes I had worn into the store.  My feet hurt.  And of course Caleb had to go to the potty!  I was going to have to walk to the other side of the store.  My friend and I joked.  I should just put on the new shoes, wear them in the store, and then pay on my way out.  But since I was heading to the bathroom with my 3 year old, I decided against the idea. Otherwise, I would be blogging here about being arrested for shoplifting!  Hmm. It would make for a good blog post. Oh...back to my thoughts.

My feet hurt but I managed to walk Caleb to the bathroom and back.  I bought the 1, 2, 3, yes 4 pairs of shoes and made it back to the car.  Actually pairs 1 and 2 were the same shoe in different sizes.  I just couldn't tell which one would fit the best.  Natalie convinced me should would wear the smaller size if it didn't fit me.  I got to the car, threw off the flip flops aka thongs :-)  I was wearing the new white lacy shoes in the smaller size.  Cute.  But within a few steps of walking my feet hurt again. I put some band-aids on my feet.  I tried them on again.  Nope..they still hurt.  I took them off and put on the larger size.  Yes, maybe these fit the best.  I wore them the rest of the day, but I didn't forget the pain the shoes had caused me earlier in the day. 

And then I found this poem online.  I am not sure who wrote it...I would really like to give her credit and thank her for it.  Just like I wished I could take off the shoes I wore into Wal-Mart that hurt my feet, I wish I could take off these shoes that cause my heart such pain.  I wish I was not walking around in life as a mother who has lost a child. 

THESE SHOES

I wear a pair of shoes
They are ugly shoes
Uncomfortable shoes
I hate my shoes

Each day I wear them and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step
Yet, I continue to wear them

I get funny looks wearing these shoes
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs

They never talk about my shoes
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt

No woman deserves to wear these shoes
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.