Letters to Heaven

Dear Seth,

If I could write a letter to heaven I would tell you that I love you.  I can't believe you are turning 2 months old.  I wish it hadn't been so long since I held you. Mommy misses you so much.  I still cry everyday.  But I am also trying to laugh again too.  It makes me wonder what your laugh would sound like.  You should be smiling big and trying to laugh by now.

You would be almost out of the newborn phase. The newborn phase always goes so fast.  I wish I hadn't missed it.  You would be outgrowing your itty baby clothes.  I wish I had some new pictures of you to see how much you have grown.  I wonder who you look like.  I think I see your face sometimes when I look at Lydia and Adam. 

I am daydreaming about what you would be doing today.  Maybe you would be holding your head up well.  I am sure would have gotten so strong by now.  I would be laying you on your belly for some tummy time.  I would be telling Caleb to be gentle with you.  He would probably be trying to pick you up.  Lydia would be asking to hold you all the time.  She still talks about how she wanted to hold you and change your diaper.  Ben says he wishes he could have played with you. 

If I could write a letter to heaven I would want to know.  Do you grow in heaven? Or will you always stay small just like I remember you so I can cradle you in my arms forever when we see each other again?  Does Jesus hold you?  Does my Grandma hold you?  Have you met your Grandma Kathy?  I can almost imagine her holding you.  I wonder if she was surprised to see you.  You look like your daddy so I know she would have known you right away.   

I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you.  It is such a beautiful day today.  I wish I could take you for a walk.  Just you and me.  Well...and your brothers and sisters.  You will always be their baby brother.  You will always be my precious son.  I love you. 

Love,
Mommy