The Bitter Better Battle

There is a Dr. Suess book about called a The Butter Battle Book. I remember hearing the story awhile ago. I don't remember all of the details, but the title has inspired me.

Here is my version of it and I will call it

The Bitter Better Battle

There was once was a mother who thought she had it all. She knew she was blessed beyond measure. She had 5 little ones who all called her mommy. She didn't think it could get any better.

Then she found out she was going to have another baby. Oh yes, she thought. This is better. She would now be the mommy to 6 wondeful children. She was filled with joy.

This mommy began planning her life with her 6 children in mind. And it was true. Being a mommy to 6 would be so much better. She couldn't wait.

She loved the reactions she would get when buying baby things with her belly all big. Six children, really? Oh yes should would smile with glee. Six children is better.

She just assumed life was better. She walked or waddled rather for 9 incredible months with a better attitude. She never knew that soon her life would be consumed with bitter. And then it happened.

The mommy arrived at the hospital to be told it was too late. Her precious baby, her sixth child had died. Had it been but a dream? Her sixth beautiful baby could not stay long. He was destined for other things. He would live in heaven. But wait she said...he is my child. I am a Mommy to six children. You can't take him away and leave me with only five. The mommy couldn't believe it. She couldn't even bear it. Losing her baby made her feel sad and disappointed and lonely and yes it tasted Bitter.

She had now tasted bitter. Better would never taste as sweet again. And so the Bitter Better Battle began.

Her heart was broken and her body was numb. Everyone kept telling her it would get better. But all she felt was bitter.

She heard another mother who knew her pain say that you had to choose "Die bitter or Die thankful. There is no in between."

The mother knew this to be true but she felt stuck in between. There was a Battle between Bitter and Better.

How could life ever be better again? She knew what better was going to be. She hadn't just imagined it for 9 months but had felt it, dreamed of it, carried it, even touched it. It was better and she loved the taste of it.

She did not like the taste of bitter. She didn't like it's foreign taste. She had never tasted anything so foul. But how could she possibly be better after such a loss. How would she even recognize the taste of better? Nothing made sense anymore. She was not the same person she was before. She knew more than she wanted to know about what it was like to love so much and to lose so hard.

Bitter or Better? She knew the choice was hers. She could choose bitter. It was up to her. She felt tempted. She felt she had a right to remain bitter. She would lay awake at night and feel the pain and remember the taste. The night was dark and the morning was so far away. And she learned quickly that the sun would rise but it would not return her joy. It only blinded her and insisted that she get up again. It taunted her to walk around pretending she was better, but inside she knew she was bitter.

But one day when she was thinking of her precious baby boy and she had a glimpse of this baby she had every right to call her own. She remembered what she was trying to forget. He was beautiful. She loved him with all her heart. And with that it occurred to her that her baby boy was everything sweet, not bitter. He brought her joy in those 39 weeks. She didn't want the way it eneded to cloud her taste buds and be bitter. She was honored to be chosen to be his mommy. He was beautiful. And beautiful is always Better.

She now knew the path she would choose. She would choose Better. She is better because she is a mommy to 6 children. She is better because she gave each of her babies life and love. She is better because she has loved each of them with her whole heart. She is better as she has been able to dance around and learn about life with her children. She is better because she still has the privilege to hold her other five children in her arms. She is better because she knows this is all temporary. She will hold her baby again.

She is better because she is being Held by her Savior as she tries to stand up again to walk through this path of sorrow and grief. She is bettter because despite the tremendous pain she carries around in her heart she is still living. And someday as she keeps choosing better she will taste the sweet again. At least this is her hope.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.  Psalm 34:8